"While investigating a case near Pierz, Jon quietly reopens the murder book on Mandy Baker... Digging up the past raises intriguing possibilities for Jon with an old girlfriend, Serena - but also forces them to work through old betrayals." Murder Book pre-orders will begin shipping out this week! I’m going to share some parables I use in therapy. 3 frogs are on a log gazing into a beautiful pond. 2 decide to jump in. How many are still on the log? The answer is 3. Deciding to do something isn’t the same as actually doing it. Data from physicians indicates that when a doctor confronts a client about a life-threatening behavior that could render them dead in the near future if unchanged, 1% commit to change. (For instance—A man with kidney damage is asked to stop drinking alcohol.) I find it easier to create change by helping people curiously explore what a change in their life would be like, rather than asking them to make a commitment. A commitment can feel like a penance. The Jack Story People sometimes fail to see how the manner in which they approach a situation creates their failure. A man is driving at night through rural Minnesota and has a flat tire. He steps out to change it, only to find the jack handle is missing. He has no cell phone reception so he decides to walk to the nearest farmhouse. Frustrated, he thinks about all of the bad breaks he’s had. As he’s getting closer to the farmhouse, he thinks about rumors that have been going around about him and his family. He wonders if the farmer will even help him because he believes people are only interested in things that are of personal benefit. If this farmer has heard the rumors, he’ll be quick to judge, and that angers him. When he finally gets to the farm, the farmer steps out and asks him what he needs. Irritated, he tells the farmer, “You can keep your damn jack, and walks away.” Later he complains that “people just don’t help others anymore.” Resilience There are many stories of resilience demonstrated by some of the wonderful people I counsel. One of my favorite comes from a woman who is one of the kindest people I’ve met. She was abused as a child, then as a teen moved into a relationship with an abusive man, and once she finally had the courage to leave him was diagnosed with cancer. I was giving her credit for her generally positive approach toward life, and she responded, “Bad things happen to people all over the world, why would I be an exception? My life is good. It took me a bit, but I’ve found the right friends and that’s all that matters now.” As I tell people, “We’ve already won the lottery just by being born in the United States.” Nothing is better than some things People always say, “Something is better than nothing.” I remind people that “Nothing is better than some things.” It’s better to accomplish nothing in a day, than to spend your time accessing unhealthy material or using substances that are going to damage your body. Mark the Positive A woman with Alzheimer’s advised me, “Make an extra effort to enjoy and remember the good times, because the bad times you remember automatically.” Quotes for the week: "People who dance are considered crazy by those who can't hear." George Carlin I had $5 in my savings account at the bank so I thought I’d close the account. I found out that I’d been fined $15 for not having enough money in the account, so now I was worth negative $10. Consider the logic behind this. I borrowed them $5 for years. In order to be done with it, they’re telling me, “You’re going to have pay us $10 first.” And then there’s the whole piece of being worth negative $10. I can’t even by something that costs nothing. In order for me to by something, they have to give me $10 to buy it. I’m envious of people who have nothing, because they’re still worth $10 more than me.” Louis C.K. My family plays a game called, “Joy-- Whack a Mole.” As soon as something good happens to one of us the rest of us jump in beat the joy out of it as quickly as possible. The other day I bought a new shirt and I asked my dad how much he thought it cost. He guessed, “$50.” I proudly told him, “I got it for $10.” He then stated, “They can sell things so cheap because of slave labor in underdeveloped countries.” My sister came in and was telling me she met a new guy, so I said, “This isn’t one of those creepy guys you came across on-line is it?’ At which point my mom entered the room and said to me, “Don’t you have a show tonight?” I told her I was excited about it, and she said, “Did your sister tell you she’s volunteering for Help my Starving Children. But I guess, being a comedian is sort of important to.” Mara Bamford Thanks for listening, Frank A special thank you to everyone in music, and the programs pictured above, for some great entertainment. Artists who entertain others through self-expression. I love the raw emotions at 2 and 3 with my granddaughter saying "You have a pretty shirt" at times and "I'm not going to sleep ever" at others.
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AuthorFrank F. Weber is a forensic psychologist specializing in homicide and sexual and physical assault cases. He uses his unique understanding of how predator’s think, knowledge of victim trauma, actual court cases, and passion for writing true crime thrillers. His Award Winning books include "Murder Book" (2017) "The I-94 Murders" (2018) "Last Call" (2019) and "Lying Close" (September 2020). Archives
March 2024
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